Livin’ in New York City Post 5: Spike Lee Ain’t That Short
The vibrant Empire State Building shone over Bryant Park while I was watching a screening of “Star Trek VIII: First Contact.”
As I adjust to life in New York, I have to keep reminding myself to not be complacent and to try and get out of the apartment. With a massive heatwave, it’s so tempting to try and stay in the dark and keep cool. However, I’ve managed to see some interesting things when I drag myself out to face a world of humidity and sweat.
One night, as the sun was going down, I went to see an outdoor screening of “Star Trek VIII: First Contact” in Bryant Park. Not only did this screening take place on the day that Nichelle Nichols died, but the park was full of Trekkies which meant we were all immersed in supreme geekdom. We had a moment of silence for Lt. Uhura and proceeded to enjoy the best “Star Trek” film to feature the cast of “The Next Generation.” Everytime someone said an iconic line or there was a fantastic action sequence, the sea of people went wild. Not only that, but Bryant Park is incredibly close to the Empire State Building so it was tempting to look away from the screen to see what was once the world’s tallest building.
Following the screening, I walked around and realized we were so close to Times Square. I don’t know if I’ve said it before but I hate Times Square. It’s everything that New York isn’t. Times Square is a commercial cesspool of corporate billboards and tourist traps. It flaunts meaningless and empty wealth while simultaneously brainwashing you into thinking that this stretch of land is what New York City is all about. New York City has more character and life in one day than Times Square will have in a decade.
There’s no history in Times Square. It’s just constantly painting over the past with no appreciation. This virus has expanded into nearby streets which further depressed me. 42nd Street used to be a hub for the theater district with all kinds of venues for live music, plays and films. While the play/musical experience has largely remained intact, so many of the movie theaters which once populated the area are now soulless restaurants and corporate retail stores. You can tell what used to be a theater because the marquees are still there only they now say Target or McDonald’s. But where was I? Oh yeah, I walked too close to Times Square.
As I tried to flee the tourists and flash dance mobs, I went to Joe’s Pizza at Times Square, a franchise of the Joe’s Pizza on Carmine Street. If there’s one thing that is my salvation, it’s a slice of New York pizza. While I was consuming my slice, I had a tourist ask me, “is it good” because the line she was in was so long. I proceeded to give a speech about how good NYC pizza is with all the enthusiasm of a used car salesman. But, for those of you who haven’t been to New York yet, never ask us if our pizza is good. Because our pizza is amazing. It ought to be common knowledge. That’s like asking if “The Godfather” is good. Or the Mona Lisa. Or the fact that my St. Louis Cardinals just swept the Yankees in a three game series.
Never fear! Joe’s Pizza isn’t just limited to Carmine Street. There are a few other locations in the city including in Times Square.
To get around the city, I mainly use the subway. In between my departure and my arrival, I’ve begun reading on the trains and my rate of completing books is incredible. I’ve managed to read four books already. If I’m not careful, I’ll have read every book on my shelf and I can’t have that. I need at least five to ten books on my shelf that I haven’t read yet. It keeps me striving for something.
Of course, if you’re not a reader, you can always engage in the sport of people watching which is always fun. Why do people bird watch? You could be sitting in a tree, bush or bramble, whatever that is, and wait for three hours just to see a woodpecker. When you people watch, you are never disappointed. It’s a sport of instant gratification. It’s like George Carlin said, “When you’re born into this world, you’re given a ticket to the freak show. If you’re born in America you’ve got a front-row seat.”
There’s interesting people on the subway. One group I’ve noticed is the dog moms who I hate. First, there’s the word itself. I’m no genius but I don’t think human-dog interspecies breeding is possible. It may seem gross, but so is taking a dog and calling yourself its mother. I’ve never been a parent but I’m pretty sure there’s a difference between raising a canine and a human. A dog only needs four things to be happy: food, water, a place to crap and attention from its owner. That’s it. Humans need so much more. For those that consider themselves dog moms, here are a few suggestions I have for you.
Don’t carry it around constantly in a backpack or a sling or a stroller (yes, I’ve seen dogs in strollers). Let the dog walk on its own.
Don’t get it outfits. It was cute when Reese Witherspoon did it in “Legally Blonde” but when you do it, it’s creepy.
Don’t demand for a holiday. I’ve seen a few social media posts celebrating “Dog Moms” day in May so I’m going to nip that in the bud. Quit trying to take away from Mother’s Day because if you think the process of adopting a pet is the same as giving birth or adopting a child, you need counseling.
But that’s New York. You see strange people, you make up a bunch of jokes that you’d never say out loud because you’ve a conscience and you go on with your day.
As for my new job, being a barista is getting to be pretty exciting. Learning how to make the drinks is a lot of fun and I especially get a kick out of frothing the milk for the lattes. We can make espresso, cappuccinos, lattes, macchiatos and regular brew for the non-sophisticants which I am one of.
In between the new job and avoiding the heat, I’ve been exploring even more of the city which led me to Central Park. I don’t think anyone who isn’t a New Yorker understands just how big the park is. It’s a gigantic place with 843 acres of land and lots to explore. I decided to venture towards the center of the park to see the legendary Belvedere castle. Honestly, if you spend so much time in the park, you start to forget that you’re even in New York.
Afterwards, I realized I was in the Upper West Side and I decided to venture toward the famous Tom’s Restaurant a.k.a the restaurant from “Seinfeld.” While the inside of the restaurant of the show was a set, the exterior was used and when you go inside, they wear “Seinfeld” on their sleeve. There’s cast pictures and framed magazines and autographs but there’s still this cozy feeling of an American diner with the booths, barstools, old-school cash register and all the classic symbols of diner Americana.
Tom’s Restaurant is more commonly known as the popular hangout of Jerry Seinfeld, George Costanza, Elaine Bennes and Cosmo Kramer in the popular sitcom “Seinfeld.”
One question I often get asked is do you feel safe going outside at night? Yes. Keep in mind a white man is writing this and I’m fully aware that my perception of walking alone at night is rapidly different from others. However, there are a few ground rules you must have for walking at night just in case. Always keep your phone charged and have a battery pack with you. Also keep some mace with you to be safe. I always try to stay within sight of at least four people and I also keep a cab company in my phone contacts as well as the Curb app. In many ways, it's safer than you’d think to walk at night because New York is the city that never sleeps. So, you can use that to your advantage.
I’ve also been going to some different areas of Brooklyn to explore this wonderful place. On Saturday, I made my way to Fort Greene to the offices of 40 Acres and a Mule Filmworks. This was because Spike Lee, one of my favorite filmmakers and the founder of 40 Acres and a Mule, was having a sale of his merchandise in an event that was part block party, part stoop sale.
The man behind “She’s Gotta Have It,” “School Daze,” “Do The Right Thing,” “Mo’ Better Blues,” “Malcolm X,” “Crooklyn,” “He Got Game,” “25th Hour,” “Inside Man,” “BlacKkKlansman” and “Da 5 Bloods” and I was there to see him. God Bless Spike!
The line was incredibly long and it was unbelievably hot but it was worth it. Not only did I get some really cool clothing, but I also got to see Spike Lee. And let me tell you this, he was taller than I’d thought he would be. Granted he’s 5’6,” but I always thought he’d be a few inches shorter given that he’s played characters named Half-Pint in “School Daze” and Shorty in “Malcolm X.” I guess seeing him on tv courtside at Knicks games and in all of those commercials with Michael Jordan as the legendary Mars Blackmon creates an optical illusion.
Being able to see this great man who has done so much for filmmaking and the city of New York was inspiring. I can’t wait to one day tell him about that day to his face in the next ten years.
