“Borderlands” Review
A star-studded cast with the likes of Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart and Jamie Lee Curtis go hunting for treasure in "Borderlands", a film adaptation of the popular video game series.
For the longest time, cinematic adaptations of video games were long thought to be cursed. From the 1993 adaptation of “Super Mario Bros.” to “Doom”, video game fans had very little hope for films based on their favorite games. Fortunately, those days appear to be long gone thanks to films like the colorful and energetic “Super Mario Bros. Movie” and “Sonic the Hedgehog”, the so-so “Uncharted” and game-changing television series like “Fallout” and “The Last of Us”. Even table-top games have been given a good cinematic treatment like “Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves”. But that doesn’t mean bad video game films can no longer exist and “Borderlands” is proof of that. With a bland, half-enthused quality to the whole production, “Borderlands” is an adaptation that should make me offended on behalf of the people that love this game but it stripped too much of my energy to make me furious.
In a galaxy of powerful corporations, smugglers, outlaws and mercenaries, one planet is the most prized and most dangerous destination: Pandora (not the one from “Avatar” unfortunately). While crawling with the most insane and bloodthirsty of people, Pandora is valuable because a mysterious vault with unimaginable riches is hidden somewhere on the planet. In this hellscape, a group of misfits and oddballs team up in order to find the treasure so they can use its wealth to take down the evil Atlas Corporation.
While I’ve never played the “Borderlands” games, I can definitely understand the appeal. This game appears to combine so many fictional elements that I love including space-westerns, shoot-outs, treasure hunts, chases and all wrapped up in a creative and humorous environment. But all of this charm and imagination is completely lost in the cinematic adaptation. When I saw that this film had a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, I was both scared and interested in seeing this film. One percentage point lower than “Madame Web”? This has to be a truly awful experience. But the film couldn’t even master that. Films like “Madame Web” and “Back to Black” may have been cinematic punches to my skull and a kick to my senses but I at least remember how unpleasant they were. I don’t think I’ll recall too much about “Borderlands” after a day or two.
From the first voice-over line of dialogue by Cate Blanchett, I knew I was in for a rough ride when I heard her explain the way this world works with so much disinterest. When Brian Cox said “God help you if you use voice-over” while playing Robert McKee in “Adaptation”, this is what he was talking about. It has none of the humor of “Goodfellas”, none of the crazed insight of “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” and none of the epic stature of, well, Cate Blanchett’s opening narration of “The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring”. What’s even more confusing is that this narration is pointless. Instead of starting the film with Blanchett’s Lilith as a lone wolf, why couldn’t part of the team already be assembled so exposition could be distributed in a more natural way? I know it may seem trivial to harp on the first five minutes of a film but it does cement the problems with the remaining 95 minutes. It feels like a first draft script that no one bothered to take another pass at to clean up the mess.
“Borderlands” feels like a complete waste of everyone’s talent. Cowriter/director Eli Roth has made his fair share of entertaining films like “Hostel”, “Thanksgiving” and the uncharacteristically family friendly “The House with a Clock in Its Walls” but his energized and often over-the-top antics feel lost. The action feels lackluster because it’s shot and edited like every other science fiction action sequence at a time when films like “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3” and “Furiosa” are trying to be innovative and clever with their setups and executions. No sequence stands out and the film just feels like one unfunny YouTube sketch after another.
With “Borderlands” being based on a game series known for its humor, it’s shocking how unfunny the film is. I don’t even know if I could call this film a comedy because comedy involves a humorous scenario that is given a funny punchline. Most of the “humor” in this film could just be called snarky quips that are trying to copy the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The only difference is that Marvel films are funny. Just look at “Deadpool & Wolverine”. That film has some setpieces that actually feel like they could work in a “Borderlands” film and hilarious humor and is now the second highest grossing film of the year. “Borderlands” is an unfunny mess that bombed big time and rightfully so. The only thing that actually got me to laugh was Jack Black’s portrayal of the robot Claptrap. God bless that man wherever he is. He is like Christ giving water to Ben Hur. It doesn’t fix all the wrongs inflicted on me, but I’m glad he’s there.
With a cast of great actors like Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jaime Lee Curtis, Jack Black and Ariana Greenblatt, you would think that their charm could help alleviate the bland story but it somehow sucks it all away. I love all of these people and some of them have worked well together in the past (like Kevin Hart and Jack Black in the “Jumanji” films) but there is no chemistry. I’d be surprised if all of them were even on set at the same time because they act like they’re all alone talking to a green screen and some poor post-production effects artist hm to cobble them all together in the edit.
While I’m not particularly angry with this film, I have a feeling that fans of the games will be. It seems like such a botched opportunity. “Borderlands” could have been a crazy adventure with express permission to be as bold and psychotic as possible but the film has played it way too safe to leave any lasting impression. Here’s to hoping that everyone involved quickly moves on to something much better.
